644607 - Copy/Branding Sign Off for MarkUP

Status: VERIFIED FIXED

(Websites Graveyard :: markup.mozilla.org, defect)

Description

[Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa]]

Hi John, Matej:

We have the MarkUP site being handed over today with a goal of being string frozen Friday.

Can you look over the site copy/branding today to make sure everything we have feels on message and lines up to our branding?

I'm particularly interested in your thoughts on the Manifesto, Behind the Code, and the verbiage that appears as you make your mark. 

Thanks!

Comment 1

[John Slater]

Will do. The URL we should be checking out is 209.20.77.205, right?

Matej, let's both do this and then sync up sometime later today.

Comment 2

[Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa]]

Yeah, that's the correct link.

Also, I know there is a section missing for the newsletter--

the copy we're putting there is the same copy we use for every other newsletter sign up (http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/newsletter/). 

I'm asking TBG to add that asap, but if they don't, don't be too alarmed.

Comment 3

[Matej Novak [:matej]]

(In reply to comment #1)
> Will do. The URL we should be checking out is 209.20.77.205, right?
> 
> Matej, let's both do this and then sync up sometime later today.

Sounds good. Let me know when is good for you.

Comment 4

[Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa]]

See here for login info: https://intranet.mozilla.org/MarkUP_Campaign#Prototypes

Comment 5

[John Slater]

Hey Laura. Sorry about the late reply here...here's a summary of Matej's and my comments:

homepage: 
* I know that intro blurb has evolved a bit, but something about the way it is now doesn't feel entirely right. The line about "You are the writers, the coders, the artists" feels too specific to me...most people on the web aren't any of those types. I think the point would be made perhaps even better by deleting that sentence and going straight into the next one. What do you think?
* What's the site style for capitalizing "mark"? It's lower case in the intro blurb but upper case in the orange text below.
* In the download promo I'd change "tools" to "speed" and "goodness" to "awesomeness".

manifesto:
* I have to say, I'm pretty lukewarm on the way the manifesto is formatted...makes the language feel too overheated and overblown to me. However, Matej points out that it would likely feel disjointed if we made it into paragraphs now, and I'm guessing we don't have time to do much of a rewrite. Matej also points out that the Behind the Code page is formatted differently, so it might make sense to go all in and make that page in manifesto format.

Matej, can you suggest a solution to that? Seems like a little editing to one or the other would be best...will defer to you as to the most expedient way to get that done. I know time is crucial here.

Laura, what do you think?

Comment 6

[Matej Novak [:matej]]

Here are some edits and suggestions based on comment 5:

Home page:
• I think we can streamline this copy as follows:
- The Web is your creation
You are the ones using it every day. Every comment, upload and contribution you make adds up to something bigger. And we believe it should remain public and accessible to everyone.
This is an open invitation to join the celebration of a Web that belongs to us all. Make your mark and show your support for the world's greatest public resource.

Manifesto page:
• In the Lessig quote, can we capitalize the first instance of "net" so it matches the second?
• Cut the following lines from the Manifesto (I think these cuts retain the spirit and meaning, but make it more universal and less overblown):
- It gives us hope. It enriches our lives. It grants us freedom of speech.
- It is a reflection of us, of our desire to create.
- We are the writers, the coders, the artists.
• I think the last two lines are essentially saying the same thing and repeating "show your support." I think we could cut either without losing anything. I'd vote to cut the last line since it's exactly the same as the line on the landing page.

Make Your Mark page:
• Don't need the comma in the sentence below the dotted line. Please replace with the word "that."

Behind the Code page:
• I'd suggest revising as follows to make it clearer:

A non-profit company dedicated to placing the future of the Web in the hands of the people.
An artist inspired by graffiti and free culture.
What happens when these two like-minded entities come together?

Here’s where you’ll find more information on Mozilla, Evan Roth and the project born of their collaboration.

Learn more about Mark Up, its mission and the contribution from respected open Web advocate Lawrence Lessig here.

Comment 7

[Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa]]

(In reply to comment #6)
> Here are some edits and suggestions based on comment 5:

John,Matej--I like all your suggestions--will send this to TBG now to update. 

Thanks so much for looking into this!

L

Comment 8

[John Slater]

Thanks Matej!

Resolving this one-

Comment 9

[Stephen Donner [:stephend] Not actively reading bugmail]

Laura -  are you comfortable with verifying this?  Thanks.

Comment 10

[Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa]]

Verified.