Closed Bug 602936 Opened 15 years ago Closed 15 years ago

Flow in new copy to parks page

Categories

(www.mozilla.org :: General, defect)

Product:
www.mozilla.org
Component:
General
Type:
defect
Priority:
Not set
Severity:
major

Tracking

(Not tracked)

Status:
RESOLVED FIXED

People

(Reporter: chelsea, Assigned: davidwboswell)

References

(
URL
)

Details

Attachments

(2 files)

Cleaned Tumucumaque Copy
13.12 KB, application/vnd.oasis.opendocument.text
Details
Screenshot of landing page with long intro paragraph
615.78 KB, image/png
Details
Please flow in the following copy to the Tumucumaque park page: Main copy above the fold In the heart of the Brazilian Amazon is a huge park, Tumucumaque, with the world's richest concentration of wildlife, and home to endangered jungle cats like the Jaguar. It's also the name for our newest release, Firefox 4. While you're enjoying the web like you never have before with Firefox 4, you can also help protect the diversity of Tumucumaque with your donation to the World Wildlife Fund today. The Mozilla community is raising $25,000 to support the WWF's conservation efforts in the Amazon, and to help them harness open web technology to keep places like Tumucumaque protected and diverse. Do your part today. [Donate Now button] [Copy below the fold] Mozilla's mission is to build a better Internet—a digital commons that is diverse and protected from harm. We believe that preserving an open web is essential to making the world a better place. We also believe that preserving open space, like Tumucumaque Park, is essential to making the world a better place. Open web, open space—these are the commons that enrich and sustain each and every one of us. That's why we named our next release, Firefox 4, Tumucumaque and why we partnered with the World Wildlife Fund to raise $25,000 from our community to protect this magnificent rainforest park. The Amazon basin is one of the world's most diverse ecosystems. Thousands of plant species, millions of insects, hundreds of fish species, more than a thousand varieties of birds, and over 300 different mammals call the Amazon rainforests and savannas home. Teeming with life, the Amazon provides oxygen, building supplies, and medicines for the entire world. Tumucumaque is the world's largest tropical rainforest park—protecting more than 9.5 million acres—and is the first national park formally established by the government of Brazil and the World Wildlife Fund. While many of the forested areas of the Amazon have been harmed by unregulated gold mining, logging, and wildlife exportation, Tumucumaque has become a sanctuary for endangered species like macaws, white-bellied caique parrots, harpy eagles, giant anteaters as well as the Amazonian cats: jaguars and cougars. It's one of our world's most important natural commons, where diversity flourishes and resilience abounds: just like the Mozilla community strives for every day when building a better web—our digital commons. Do your part to help us raise $25,000 to protect the Brazilian Amazon, and to help the WWF harness open web technology to keep places like Tumucumaque protected and diverse. And please consider rounding up your donation by $10, or more, to support our efforts to promote openness, innovation, and opportunity on the Internet.
OK, new text in place. Please review and make sure it's correct. One note -- the intro paragraph is now longer and is breaking the design a bit. Can we revert to the previous version for that paragraph?
We want the donation ask to be pretty prominent. Could we do that block of copy in a different colour? Something to make it stand out above the fold?
My recommendation is to go back to the shorter first paragraph to pull up more of the rest of the page above the fold and then we can bold key sections of that second paragraph. Want me to try to see how it looks?
See how it looks. The recommendation was that the fundraising ask be as prominent as the intro.
That's not how the page is designed. We can go back to Monique and ask her to redesign things if the suggestion in comment #3 doesn't meet their requirements.
See how it looks. The recommendation was that the fundraising ask be as prominent as the intro.
Let's see how it looks as per your suggestion.
OK, change checked in. Should show up soon.
Any thoughts on how the changes in comment #8 look? Ideally we can finalize this in the next couple of days and freeze the text for localization.
One nit: jaguars only have a capital J if they are at the beginning of a sentence, or are cars. :-) Otherwise, great! Gerv
Checked in a fix for Gerv's issue in comment #10. If Chelsea clarifies that we are actually talking about cars there, I can revert.
Just got copy back from WWF. Will have another check in for you later today (but it will be the last! Yay!). While Jaguars are lovely cars, I don't know if they need our help... just yet.
Okay. Copy that is WWF approved and loved: In the northern part of the Brazilian Amazon there is a huge park, Tumucumaque Mountains National Park, the world's largest tropical forest national park, and home to majestic jungle cats like the jaguar. It's also the name for our newest release, Firefox 4. While you're enjoying the web like you never have before with Firefox 4, youcan also help protect the diversity of Tumucumaque with your donation to World Wildlife Fund today. The Mozilla community is raising $25,000 to support WWF's conservation efforts in the Amazon, and to help them harness open web technology to keep places like Tumucumaque protected and diverse. Do your part today. [Donate Now button] [Copy below the fold] Mozilla's mission is to build a better Internet—a digital commons that isdiverse and protected from harm. We believe that preserving an open web isessential to making the world a better place. We also believe that preservingnatural and open spaces, like Tumucumaque Mountains National Park, is essential to making the world a better place. Open web, open space — these are the commons that enrich and sustain each and every one of us. That's why we named our next release, Firefox 4, Tumucumaque and why we partnered with World Wildlife Fund to raise $25,000 from our community to protect this magnificent rainforest park. The Amazon is a region of superlatives. It spans the borders of eight countries and one overseas territory, is the world's largest river basin and the source of one-fifth of all free-flowing fresh water on Earth. Its rain forests are the planet's largest and most luxuriant, and home to - amazingly - one in ten known species on Earth. Tumucumaque is the world's largest tropical forest park and protects morethan 9.5 million acres. While many of the forested areas of the Amazon are under threat from mining, deforestation, agriculture and illegal wildlife, trade, Tumucumaque has become a sanctuary for iconic species like macaws, white-bellied caique parrots,harpy eagles, giant anteaters as well as the Amazonian cats: jaguars and pumas. It's one of our world's most important natural commons, where diversity flourishes and resilience abounds: just like the Mozilla community strives for every day when building a better web—our digital commons. Do your part to help us raise $25,000 to protect the Brazilian Amazon, and to help the WWF harness open web technology to keep places like Tumucumaque protected and diverse. And please consider rounding up your donation by $10, or more, to support our efforts to promote openness, innovation, and opportunity on the Internet.
Can you try posting the text again or sending to me in an email? The copy above seems to have some spaces missing. For example: "youcan also help protect".
Here's hoping that caught all the strangeness.
Text looks better in the attachment. FYI, the intro paragraph looks pretty long again. We'll see what it looks like when it's in the page, but would be good if we could shorten it a bit. Also the donate button is listed after the second paragraph in the text but will be below the first in the page.
good catch. We want the donate button above the fold. We may need to bring monique back in to sort out the paragraph issues. The donation ask needs to be up front and centre.
OK, new copy checked in. I don't think we'll need to go back to Monique since the current design has the button in a prominent location. Is it a requirement to place it below the 2nd paragraph or a recommendation? Same question with the length of the 1st paragraph? With this design the button gets the best placement with being placed right below a relatively short first paragraph.
The recommendation is that the button be below the first two paragraphs of copy, which would be in the larger font.
Okay, trying a shorter intro paragraph. Let me know if it a) makes sense, b) is compelling and c) fits into the space: In the northern part of the Brazilian Amazon is Tumucumaque Mountains National Park, the world's largest tropical forest national park, and home to majestic jungle cats like the jaguar. It's also the name for our newest release, Firefox 4. To celebrate this the Mozilla community is raising $25,000 to support World Wildlife Fund conservation efforts in the Amazon, and to help them harness open web technology to keep places like Tumucumaque protected and diverse. Do you part today.
That paragraph is too long. The space is designed for a paragraph of this length: "Tumucumaque is a park in the Amazon that is home to the majestic jaguar and many other protected species. Help Mozilla protect this park with your donation to the World Wildlife Fund today." It looks like there is a lot of information in there that isn't immediately relevant for the ask: * location of the park * full name of the park * use of park as codename * specific amount of our goal * etc. Even if we redesigned the page, that amount of text at a high font size will take up a lot of space and will push a button placed underneath below the fold for some users.
If it is helpful to have a specific word count to aim for, the first paragraph is designed for around 30-35 words. The paragraph in comment #20 is 78 words.
Posting a screenshot of the landing page with the longer intro paragraph text in it to show how it fits in the existing page layout and where the button position would be.
sigh. This is why I wanted to look into redesigning it. I'll do another pass.
Okay, down to 38 words. Will this fit? Tumucumaque Mountains National Park is home to majestic jungle cats like the jaguar. It's also the code name for Firefox 4. We're supporting WWF conservation efforts in the Amazon to keep places like Tumucumaque protected. Help us today.
Looks a lot better to me now. Is this bug done or are there any more copy changes coming?
It does look better. Can you just de-linkify the World Wildlife Fund in the first paragraph and then we're good to close.
To confirm, you don't want any instance of WWF or World Wildlife Fund to be linked? Right now the WWF logo is also linked -- want to keep that? Also, how do you feel about bolding the first line in the second paragraph? I just removed it since the initial paragraph contains the full ask so the bolding seemed distracting now.
I would like to keep the logo linked. I like that. I think I like it still bold, having seen it checked in. That okay?
OK, just checked in a rebolding of that sentence. Feel free to close when you see the change go live. Once this is closed, I'll send the page to Mozilla Japan and the MozBR list for localization. For reference, those pages would live at: http://www.mozilla.org/parks/tumucumaque/index.jp.html http://www.mozilla.org/parks/tumucumaque/index.br.html
Status: NEW → RESOLVED
Closed: 15 years ago
Resolution: --- → FIXED
Blocks: 585751
Component: www.mozilla.org → General
Product: Websites → www.mozilla.org
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