Closed Bug 671656 Opened 14 years ago Closed 14 years ago

Add-on Animation copy review

Categories

(Marketing :: Copy, task)

Product:
Marketing
Component:
Copy
Platform:
x86
All
Type:
task
Priority:
Not set
Severity:
major

Tracking

(Not tracked)

Status:
RESOLVED FIXED

People

(Reporter: dhorner, Assigned: matej)

Details

Attachments

(4 files)

Add-ons Animation Storyboard
2.52 MB, application/zip
Details
Add-ons VO — revised
20.50 KB, application/msword
Details
T feedback on VO
23.00 KB, application/msword
Details
Revisions based on Tara's feedback
21.00 KB, application/msword
Details
Hi Matej Please attach your changes and feedback to this bug. Thanks
Dan, do you have a desired timeline for this so Matej can work against that? Also, did you include our own initial thoughts around how this can be better? that can help serve as some basic direction for Matej. Thanks Matej !
Hi Tara, Coming changes are listed below. SCENE 1 - Animation needs to start and finish with an introductory and end graphic SCENE 2 - The ice-cream will grow upwards (rather than scoops being dropped on it) with the 'power-up' sound FX. SCENE 5 - VO here needs to be much more benefit led, and entirely reworked - "There are 1000's of 'Add-ons' available that customize, personalize, and enhance your browsing experience on Firefox for your desktop - and mobile. SCENE 6 - VO "For example, you can change the look of Firefox to fit your mood and style with Personas" SCENE 9 - Cameras should be on Podiums SCENE 10 - Icons next to prices will be replaced with real-life online stores; amazon.com and buy.com - Hand that drops the "Best Price" bubble into place will be replaced with a cursor SCENE 13 - Will start with a more basic image search; then add-on will have an effect - image will be framed, will appear next to more images that will slide across, and expand on hover. Cat will smile/wink on hover. SCENE 20 - Language of placards will change into multiple languages; English, French, Arabic and Japanese. SCENE 21, 22, 23 - Order of these scenes should be 22, 23, 21; so that the placards change language several times, then the scenery fades away to the monitor, where the user has already installed the translator add-on SCENE 25 - This scene is being rethought - it will show the broad range of add-ons available in a more creative way. - VO needs to be more along the lines of "With 1000s to choose from, whoever you are - there are add-ons for you that will make browsing with Firefox a fantastic experience" SCENE 26 - Mozilla Firefox Add-ons lockup design is incorrect - Needs a final frame with a CTA "Get started with Add-ons now"
Re: desired timeline - asap :( We need to receive it today to avoid falling behind schedule.
Severity: normal → major
Thanks Dan. I know we mentioned this to Matej earlier... but this is a tight turnaround :) so, not sure if we can commit to today. But will let Matej weigh in. He goes off on vacation after this team off/onsite so... would be great to have his input soon before he leaves.
Attached file Add-ons VO — revised —
Hi guys, here's the revised version of the voiceover for the add-ons video. There wasn't a lot of leeway based on the storyboard, but I think it flows better now. Have a look and let me know what you think.
Hey Matej, thanks so much for this. Not sure if you're already gone... but one thing that Chris wanted to reiterate in the ending was the "putting you in control of your experience" message. I think what we have captures it, but was curious to see if there was a way to massage in that specific phrase "put you in control"... if not, that's okay. We can also tweak this a bit when you get back. But wanted to just mention it.
Am pretty sure Matej is already on PTO - let's bring that feedback to Poke and see what they can do.
Yup. There are a few areas that needed tweaking. We've moved into animatics for now, and will tweak when we see that. Stay tuned... thanks.
Matej. I'm going to forward you the animatic which gives you a rough sense of the animation / story and rough VO on top. Again, it's very rough, but I think it helps point out some of the weaknesses / strengths of the VO. I'd like to make a few tweaks, and would love your help on that. Looking to finalize this by early next week so we can move into recording -> currently scheduled for around Wednesday.
Sure. If there are specific changes you'd like to see, please feel free to make them and I can massage or tweak as necessary.
Hello! Matej, sorry for the delay on my part. So, I think overall this is looking great. Unfortunately they used an older VO on the animatic, but viewing the animatic helps give a sense of pacing between scenes and what we're showing. So definitely take a look at that if you haven't already. I'm attaching some thoughts. Let me know if you want to discuss. Overall I think it's great, just some comments and suggested tweaks.
Attached file T feedback on VO —
Hey Tara, great points. I think I addressed them all. I changed the second last line based on what Chris was asking for because I realized it was just repeating a line from the beginning as it was. I've also provided some options for the end line. I agree it wasn't very strong (my bad). Let me know what you think.
Thanks Matej! Def. line the first option for the ending best: >Give add-ons a try and make your Firefox more awesome than ever. It's action oriented and says all the right things :) One other question... On the part about Personas. is there a way to suggest that it's not *just* the three we show? I know it's a silly thing for someone to think, but want to make sure it's clear that there are thousands to choose from. Any way we can work that in somehow without making the section too much longer? Anyone else see that as a concern? I jsut want to make sure it's extra clear... b/c there's a vast array of designs to choose from. Otherwise. looks great to me. Thanks Matej. Dan / John / Mayumi.....additional / final thoughts?
"like" not "line". gotta stop typing so fast... sorry.
(In reply to comment #15) > > One other question... > On the part about Personas. is there a way to suggest that it's not *just* > the three we show? I know it's a silly thing for someone to think, but want > to make sure it's clear that there are thousands to choose from. Any way we > can work that in somehow without making the section too much longer? Anyone > else see that as a concern? I jsut want to make sure it's extra clear... > b/c there's a vast array of designs to choose from. I'm not overly concerned about that, but we could do something like this: For example, you can choose from thousands of Personas to change the look of your browser based on your mood and style … … like this … or this … or even this.
+ 1 Give add-ons a try and make your Firefox more awesome than ever.
+1 for this one as well: >Give add-ons a try and make your Firefox more awesome than ever. (In reply to comment #15) > On the part about Personas. is there a way to suggest that it's not *just* > the three we show? I know it's a silly thing for someone to think, but want > to make sure it's clear that there are thousands to choose from. Any way we > can work that in somehow without making the section too much longer? Anyone > else see that as a concern? I jsut want to make sure it's extra clear... > b/c there's a vast array of designs to choose from. I don't really think this is necessary...if people don't infer that there are more than 3 Personas, they're probably not intelligent enough to download an add-on anyway. And talking it about it in too much more detail just starts to feel like overexplaining. We have a lot to cover in this video, so I say let's just keep it as is.
That cracked me up. Fair enough! Thanks guys. We're done here... but will keep the bug open for now until Poke has a chance to review and set against the animatic.
I'll say that we're done here :) Thanks guys.
Status: NEW → RESOLVED
Closed: 14 years ago
Resolution: --- → FIXED
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