Status

Marketing
Copy
RESOLVED FIXED
6 years ago
6 years ago

People

(Reporter: lmesa, Assigned: matej)

Tracking

Details

Attachments

(2 attachments)

(Reporter)

Description

6 years ago
Created attachment 583667 [details]
ESR Brief

Hi Matej,

See attached ESR brief for more on the tone of this page, but basically we're building a page that is not meant to be full of marketing, but instead, meant to be very matter of fact about the existence of this build and its benefits.
 
 See my next attachment for my pass at what I think the copy might look like.  Feel free to word smith!

Would be great to get copy for the first week of Jan (my guess. Tara, correct me if im wrong).
(Reporter)

Comment 1

6 years ago
Created attachment 583671 [details]
Lmesa's first draft at copy

Comment 2

6 years ago
I think we'd need to have copy fairly soonish so that design can happen and be done by the 1/26 deadline.  Matej, let me know how things are looking on your end.  Just asked that you be invited to the kickoff meeting.
(Assignee)

Comment 3

6 years ago
A bit concerned about the timing here. I'm in the office the next two days, but then on PTO next week, and the first week of Jan. is a 3-day week for me (holiday Monday + birthday PTO). Not saying it's impossible. Just wanted to flag.

Comment 4

6 years ago
Thanks for flagging.  Lets be sure to discuss timing and deadline flexibility tomorrow to see what we can do.

Comment 5

6 years ago
I think if the copy length stays roughly the same, Lee can design using the draft as FPO, and meanwhile we buy a little more time to polish copy (which can be updated later, but all before the 26th)

Comment 6

6 years ago
(In reply to Tara (musingt) from comment #5)
> I think if the copy length stays roughly the same, Lee can design using the
> draft as FPO, and meanwhile we buy a little more time to polish copy (which
> can be updated later, but all before the 26th)

Note: I moved the due date up on these creative assets to 1/24. See https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=712470#c3 for more.
(Reporter)

Comment 7

6 years ago
Friendly ping on copy.
(Assignee)

Comment 8

6 years ago
Yup, I'm on it. Sorry for the delay. Should have something for you tomorrow.

Updated

6 years ago
Blocks: 713758

Comment 9

6 years ago
Ideas for copy:

PAGE 1.

Welcome and identify who the users are for this page:

*You are an organization (school, university, county/city government, sysadmin for a business)
**Looking to download Firefox for only your personal use? Click here (we've got what you need!)

Clarify the expected flow:

*Step 1. Sign up for the mailing list, where you'll get updates, be a part of a community, etc....
*Step 2. Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox for ESR

Small print: Oh, you don't want to join the mailing list? Skip this step (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)

PAGE 2.

*FAQ & download
(Assignee)

Comment 10

6 years ago
Thanks, Chrissie, that helps a bunch. Here's a version of the copy combining elements or LoMo's draft and comment 9. Let me know what you think.


[HEADLINE]
Mozilla Firefox Extended Support Release

[SUBHEAD] 
A community-lead project that offers the best in speed, flexibility and security for organizations needing long term support.

[COPY]
Who is it for?
Firefox ESR is for universities and other schools, county or city governments and sysadmins for businesses.

Not from an organization?
If you're an individual, you're in the wrong place. Visit our Firefox page instead.

[CTA SECTION]
Step 1
Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for the mailing list as this will be the only point of contact for any and all communications regarding product updates and support.

Step 2
Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox ESR.

Sign up here to get started >> (link to the mailman interface to sign up)

[SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? Skip this step if you're sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)
(Reporter)

Comment 11

6 years ago
(In reply to Matej Novak [:matej] from comment #10)
>
> 
> [SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? Skip this step if you're
> sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)

I love this.  Only change I might make is to add a bit more of the messaging you had in step 1 of the CTA so it might say something more like this:

[SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? By skiping this step you will not receive any communications regarding product updates or support. Skip this step if you're sure.

I will then send this to Kev and Stormy to ok.

Comment 12

6 years ago
Looks good to me too and I like this approach... my only nits/suggestions are:

* When you say "who is this for?"  can't the second question follow that same pattern and say "who is this *not* for?" to make that distinction very clear?

* Also, it's a little odd to say "if you're an individual", right?  everyone is (hopefully) an individual of some type :) but i liked what you had before better where it asked if this was for "personal use" vs. part of a larger organization blah blah.  

Thoughts?
(Assignee)

Comment 13

6 years ago
Thanks guys. Updated based on comment 11 and comment 12. The only change I didn't make was to make the second subhead "Who is it not for." I normally love that kind of parallel structure, but here I think it's better to be really clear that if you don't represent an organization this isn't for you.


[HEADLINE]
Mozilla Firefox Extended Support Release

[SUBHEAD] 
A community-lead project that offers the best in speed, flexibility and security for organizations needing long term support.

[COPY]
Who is it for?
Firefox ESR is for universities and other schools, county or city governments and sysadmins for businesses.

Not from an organization?
If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, you're in the wrong place. Visit our Firefox page instead.

[CTA SECTION]
Step 1
Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for the mailing list as this will be the only point of contact for any and all communications regarding product updates and support.

Step 2
Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox ESR.

Sign up here to get started >> (link to the mailman interface to sign up)

[SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? By skipping this step you won't receive any communications regarding product updates or support. Click here if you're sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)
(Reporter)

Comment 14

6 years ago
Got comments from Stormy and Kev inline--I'm re-discussing step one and two with stormy and kev right now, so hopefully I can get you comments on that tonight. 

(In reply to Matej Novak [:matej] from comment #13)
> Thanks guys. Updated based on comment 11 and comment 12. The only change I
> didn't make was to make the second subhead "Who is it not for." I normally
> love that kind of parallel structure, but here I think it's better to be
> really clear that if you don't represent an organization this isn't for you.
> 
> 
> [HEADLINE]
> Mozilla Firefox Extended Support Release
> 
> [SUBHEAD] 
> A community-lead project that offers the best in speed, flexibility and
> security for organizations needing long term support.

This implies that ESR is better for them than the regular Firefox release and I don't think we want to say that. We should at least remove "the best" or perhaps say that Firefox is the best and Firefox ESR enables larger organizations to benefit from that.

I would change this a little so it doesn't read as long term support, which has different implications (3-5 years, not 1). We avoided the use of long term in the name for this reason.


> 
> [COPY]
> Who is it for?
> Firefox ESR is for universities and other schools, county or city
> governments and sysadmins for businesses.


FIrefox ESR is for large organizations such as schools, universities, government organizations and businesses. (Calling out sys admins for just businesses doesn't make sense. It's for the businesses. All those orgs have sys admins.)

Firefox ESR is intended for groups who deploy and maintain the desktop environment in universities and other schools, county or city governments and commercial organizations.


> 
> Not from an organization?
> If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, you're in the wrong place.
> Visit our Firefox page instead.

Instead of "you're in the wrong place" maybe "If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, please visit our Firefox page." 

> 
> [CTA SECTION]
> Step 1
> Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for
> the mailing list as this will be the only point of contact for any and all
> communications regarding product updates and support.


"as this will be the only way to receive regular communications regarding ..." 


Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for the
Enterprise Working Group (EWG) mailing list. The EWG list is the primary point of contact for any and all
communications regarding product updates, and is a great place to discuss deploying Firefox with other community members. 

> 
> Step 2
> Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox ESR.
> 
> Sign up here to get started >> (link to the mailman interface to sign up)
> 
> [SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? By skipping this step you
> won't receive any communications regarding product updates or support. Click
> here if you're sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)
(Assignee)

Comment 15

6 years ago
Tried to combine the feedback to minimize repetition. Let me know if this properly answers the concerns in comment 14:


[HEADLINE]
Mozilla Firefox Extended Support Release

[SUBHEAD] 
A community-lead project that allows organizations to benefit from the speed, flexibility and security of Firefox while getting the support they need.

[COPY]
Who is it for?
Firefox ESR is intended for groups who deploy and maintain the desktop environment in large organizations such as universities and other schools, county or city governments and businesses.

Not from an organization?
If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, please visit our Firefox page.

[CTA SECTION]
Step 1
Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for the
Enterprise Working Group (EWG) mailing list. The EWG list is a great place to discuss deploying Firefox with other community members and will be the only way to receive regular communications regarding product updates and support.

Step 2
Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox ESR.

Sign up here to get started >> (link to the mailman interface to sign up)

[SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? By skipping this step you won't receive any communications regarding product updates or support. Click here if you're sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)
(Reporter)

Comment 16

6 years ago
(In reply to Matej Novak [:matej] from comment #15)
> Tried to combine the feedback to minimize repetition. Let me know if this
> properly answers the concerns in comment 14:
> 
> 
> [HEADLINE]
> Mozilla Firefox Extended Support Release
> 
> [SUBHEAD] 
> A community-lead project that allows organizations to benefit from the
> speed, flexibility and security of Firefox while getting the support they
> need.
> 
> [COPY]
> Who is it for?
> Firefox ESR is intended for groups who deploy and maintain the desktop
> environment in large organizations such as universities and other schools,
> county or city governments and businesses.
> 
> Not from an organization?
> If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, please visit our Firefox
> page.
> 
> [CTA SECTION]
> Step 1
> Before proceeding, we strongly encourage Firefox ESR users to sign up for the
> Enterprise Working Group (EWG) mailing list. The EWG list is a great place
> to discuss deploying Firefox with other community members and will be the
> only way to receive regular communications regarding product updates and
> support.
> 
> Step 2
> Review our handy FAQ for your organization and download Firefox ESR.
> 
> Sign up here to get started >> (link to the mailman interface to sign up)
> 
> [SMALL PRINT] Don't want to join the mailing list? By skipping this step you
> won't receive any communications regarding product updates or support. Click
> here if you're sure. (hyperlinked to the faq/download page)

This looks good to me. Waiting on Stormy and Kev to ok.
(Reporter)

Comment 17

6 years ago
Kev had one comment on the design:

"Just something that I glanced over first time through, and seeing it on the page we may want to change the leader to "Looking to use Firefox for personal use/at home/etc.?" instead. It's wordsmithing, but if people are looking to use Firefox vs. deploy it, it might make sense to target them with that."
(Reporter)

Comment 18

6 years ago
One comment from Kev we should consider:

"I also think we should do something around why you shouldn't use the ESR for personal use, but it's not in the critical path for launch."  Could we add something to the "Not for an organization" sub section?  If not, we should definitely add to the FAQ.
(Assignee)

Comment 19

6 years ago
(In reply to Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa] from comment #18)
> One comment from Kev we should consider:
> 
> "I also think we should do something around why you shouldn't use the ESR
> for personal use, but it's not in the critical path for launch."  Could we
> add something to the "Not for an organization" sub section?  If not, we
> should definitely add to the FAQ.

If you give me some keys points for this, I can whip something up. Let me know if you'd prefer it on the main page or in the FAQ.
(Reporter)

Comment 20

6 years ago
(In reply to Matej Novak [:matej] from comment #19)
> (In reply to Laura Mesa [:lmesa] [:lvmesa] from comment #18)
> > One comment from Kev we should consider:
> > 
> > "I also think we should do something around why you shouldn't use the ESR
> > for personal use, but it's not in the critical path for launch."  Could we
> > add something to the "Not for an organization" sub section?  If not, we
> > should definitely add to the FAQ.
> 
> If you give me some keys points for this, I can whip something up. Let me
> know if you'd prefer it on the main page or in the FAQ.

I'd prefer on the main page with a modifiend version for the FAQ.  

What it comes down to is that the ESR is not for people who want
the ability to use, experience and take advantage of the latest features, performance enhancements and technologies because the improvements users  expect and receive every six weeks in Firefox will only be made available to ESR users several/many development cycles after its already available on Firefox.  

This is what I wrote in the etherpad--feel free to destroy:

"Users who want to get the latest features, performance enhancements and technologies in their browsing experience should download Firefox for _personal use_ as these improvements will only be available to ESR users several development cycles after being made available in Firefox desktop. 
If you're using Firefox for personal use, you can _download Firefox_ from [mozilla.org/firefox]."
(Assignee)

Comment 21

6 years ago
I think that looks good for the FAQ, but I've adapted it below for the landing page. I think we should now go with the structure Tara suggest in comment 12 and give both "who is it for" and "who is it not for" equal prominence. That means moving the "Not from an organization" blurb out on its own, maybe closer to the top, to address Kev's feedback in comment 17.


[COPY]
Who is it for?
Firefox ESR is intended for groups who deploy and maintain the desktop environment in large organizations such as universities and other schools, county or city governments and businesses.

Who is it not for?
Individual users who always want the latest features, performance enhancements and technologies in their browser without waiting for them to become available in ESR several development cycles later.

Not from an organization?
If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, please visit our Firefox page.
(Reporter)

Comment 22

6 years ago
(In reply to Matej Novak [:matej] from comment #21)
> I think that looks good for the FAQ, but I've adapted it below for the
> landing page. I think we should now go with the structure Tara suggest in
> comment 12 and give both "who is it for" and "who is it not for" equal
> prominence. That means moving the "Not from an organization" blurb out on
> its own, maybe closer to the top, to address Kev's feedback in comment 17.
> 
> 
> [COPY]
> Who is it for?
> Firefox ESR is intended for groups who deploy and maintain the desktop
> environment in large organizations such as universities and other schools,
> county or city governments and businesses.
> 
> Who is it not for?
> Individual users who always want the latest features, performance
> enhancements and technologies in their browser without waiting for them to
> become available in ESR several development cycles later.
> 
> Not from an organization?
> If you're looking for Firefox for personal use, please visit our Firefox
> page.

This is so good it hurts.  Nice job Matej.  Copy is approved.

Comment 23

6 years ago
closing out.  thanks all
Status: NEW → RESOLVED
Last Resolved: 6 years ago
Resolution: --- → FIXED
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