30651 - Please retrieve your dragon.

Status: VERIFIED WORKSFORME

(mozilla.org :: Miscellaneous, task, P3)

Description

[Matthew Tuck [:CodeMachine]]

There's a dragon in my front yard called Mozilla.  He's going around eating all
my plants, setting all my trees alight and leaving gigantic deposits on my
garden.

I managed to retrieve a neck tag that fell off that said "Mozilla - If found
please report contact the Mozilla Retrieval Team at
http://bugzilla.mozilla.org/.", so here I am.

I think he's really hungry, so please come quickly.  I would feed him but my
supply of big blue letter "e"s is a bit low at the moment.

He sometimes mutters something about not knowing whether he's a dragon, dinosaur
or lizard anymore, and that his owners are always smothering him with red
paint.  If you come now I'll let these things slide and not report them to the
animal cruelty authorities.  Hey, what you do in your own time is your business.

This is currently blocking me from having a life as I can't go outside.  After
fetching the neck tag I won't have hair for weeks and I'd rather not risk a
repeat episode.

Last week it was the neighbours playing with thermonuclear warheads, this week I
have a fire-breathing creature in my yard, so with my luck next week Satan will
invite me over for lunch.

Comment 1

[Ben Bucksch (:BenB)]

Matty, I hope, Mitchell will come as fast as she can, but in the meantime you
should know, that Mozilla doesn't like windows. The former holders of him mostly
(but fortunately not always) kept him in a house, and he only had windows to see
the world. That's why he's getting a bit angry, if he sees windows near him. I
suggest, you hide them with slats forming an "X", this worked best.

We're sorry, that you're in trouble, but be assured, that you're doing a good
thing. He will play an important role in saving the world from one evil, but I
can't tell you much about it at this point in time.

Comment 2

[Mitchell Baker]

Well, you know, the Lizard is free.  No one controls where he goes, he finds his 
own way.  good guidance works wonders though.  Try redirecting his attention to 
whereever you think he ought be.  He's not always well-mannered, that's for sure.  
He gets determined to do The Right Thing, and it's hard to slow him down.

Improving his housekeeping functions would be a big help though, he'd all 
appreciate that.

Try pointing back at the seamonkey project.  He's likely to get fixated on that, 
and make his own way out of your yard.

Thanks for the update, we haven't yet implemented mozilla-telemetry!

Comment 3

[Matthew T (active 1999-2002)]

Verified worksforme, by testing non-optimized non-commercial non-bits on URL
<http://mozilla.org/MPL/>. All tests passed -- especially the chocolate one.

Comment 4

[Joel Siegel]

(In reply to comment #2)
> Well, you know, the Lizard is free.  No one controls where he goes, he finds his 
> own way.  good guidance works wonders though.  Try redirecting his attention to 
> whereever you think he ought be.  He's not always well-mannered, that's for
sure.  
> He gets determined to do The Right Thing, and it's hard to slow him down.
> 
> Improving his housekeeping functions would be a big help though, he'd all 
> appreciate that.

If you can get the lizard to understand US postal addresses, try pointing him to
One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399
and suggesting he do there whatever he sees fit.  As Mitchell points out, he's
determined to do The Right Thing, and good guidance works wonders.